How To Identify And Overcome Pride
Let’s talk about blind spots, but not the ones on the road. Today we’re talking about the blind spot of pride. Pride is easy to see in other people, and we can all think of an example of an arrogant or prideful person who crossed our path in the past. You may have heard someone glorifying their abilities and accomplishments with their own words. Or you may have witnessed a very wealthy person speak about their material possessions as the result of their hard work and success. Seeing our own pride is near impossible without some help. Where Are Your Blind Spots? It’s usually a turn-off when you encounter a bold and prideful person, but have you ever considered the idea that you too may suffer from a pride problem? If you are shaking your head as you read this, saying to yourself, I am definitely not full of pride. I actually lean more toward insecurity than pride. You may be just like me. I was sitting in church one day listening to a message on pride, tuning most of it out because it did not seem to pertain to me. Then I was struck with the convincing truth that I too had a pride problem. You can check out the Message Here. It snuck into my life as a “blind spot.” A blind spot, by definition, is just as it sounds. It’s an area where a person’s view is obstructed. In the area of pride, this simply means that you are unaware of your own sin of pride. For the arrogant professional athlete boasting to the media about his skill, the problem of pride is obvious. But have you ever failed to seek advice because you thought you already knew the answers? Have you ever sought out the advice that the world offers rather than seeking God’s truth because you place a higher value on what others think? Then you may have a pride problem. How To Identify Pride Some may call them problems or blind spots, but as Rachelle Ferguson pointed out in her message, How To Change When The Hits Keep Coming, it’s really called pride. Pride shows up in two ways We think we know when we really don’t. We take credit for God’s work in our lives. I have been guilty of seeking the advice and approval of my friends and family before God when I have had a big problem. I believe the lie that the problem is mine to solve, and seeking God’s wisdom is, sadly, sometimes the last thing I do. If I’m being really honest, when I am upset, confused, worried, or offended I will even seek the comfort and advice of the people in my life that I know will agree with me rather than the advice of those I respect, because it is easier. Joyce Meyer has a really cheesy saying, but it is so true that it has stuck in my brain for many years. She says, “before you go to the phone, go to the throne.” I know! Silly, but oh so true. When I am tempted to call a friend for some unhealthy conversation, I think of how true this statement is. Have I gone to God with this problem? If not, why? Is it because I don’t really want wisdom, I just want someone to agree with me that I am right? Ouch, that’s pride. It says in Proverbs 11:2 “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” If you are truly seeking wisdom, then seek God.” Proverbs 16:5 says “The Lord detests all the proud of heart. Be sure of this: they will not go unpunished.” I know that sounds aggressive, but here is the point that must not be missed! God does not hate the sin of pride just because it’s unbecoming or arrogant. He detests pride because PRIDE IS A HINDRANCE TO SEEKING GOD. Where Do You Look? If you are acting in pride, you are looking inward or outward but not upward. God wants you to lean on and trust in Him in all things. This does not mean trust Him with the big things and micromanage the small things yourself. I was guilty of this myself. When my son was very sick, I found it easy to turn everything over to God. Cancer seemed so much bigger than me. I couldn’t figure it out, plan through it, or fix it. I instantly surrendered it to God. However, the smaller things seemed to cause me more stress and heartache, if you can imagine that. I believe the reason is that I decided I could be in control of the smaller things. God wants to be on the throne of your life. Pride wants to put you on the throne of your life. So spend some time reflecting, and if you find you spend your days constantly striving to make your own life better rather than focusing on the hope God has for you, you may have a blind spot, better known as pride. If you find yourself in this place, there is hope. God will help you reveal your blind spots. James 4:6-7 says “But he gives us more GRACE. That is why scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.”
Why You Should Say No To Busy
Do you ever feel overwhelmed with the busyness of life? Do you know why you should say no to busy? What does that even look like? Memories Of Being Carefree It’s summer, and I love everything that comes with it. I love the smell of hamburgers cooking on the grill, the tingle of sun-kissed skin after a long day of swimming, gardens filled with the hope of fresh vegetables soon, and the memories of being a carefree kid during summer. This week I saw two of my little neighbor girls sitting on a blanket, giggling and eating a popsicle. They were so carefree. So simple. So happy. It brought me back to being a kid myself in the 80s. The highlight of my summers were Disney popsicles and summer reading at the library. I was pulled from my daydream and jerked back into reality as my phone began to chime over and over. It was text messages and email reminders for everything my kids either needed to do or needed to sign up to do soon. I don’t know when we got to this place, but this summer my daughter had 3 open gym times for 3 separate sports, all in one day, and that was just school-related sports. On To The Next Activity It seems that being busy has become the new norm. Whether you are single, married, have children, or are an empty nester, you need to have a full schedule. You need to have picture-worthy date nights, vacations your friends envy, and hobbies to post about. Your kids need to be scouted by a reputable college at their little league game, and one sport or activity must now overlap the previous one. There is no room for downtime, and the busy days leave little time for more than a frozen pizza or drive-through dinner at the end of a long night. We are subconsciously fed the message that we need to do more, be more, and accomplish more. The “world” has figured out how to make us believe this lie. Algorithms are designed specifically to know what we want, what we think, what we fear, and what we desire in a matter of clicks. It’s so subtle we don’t even realize it’s happening. We are all on one big lazy river! Have you ever been on a lazy river? I will say it’s relaxing for a while. You lay back on a raft, and the current takes you. No effort is necessary on your part. You can even close your eyes and get some sun. Everyone is moving in the same direction, at the same speed, and at the same time. Then comes the moment you are ready to get out. You see the stairs coming, and you hop off your raft, but you miss it. You now have to walk against the current, pushing against other rafts, to make it to the steps to get out of this lazy river. Turn Off The Autopilot That is how I see this current season of life. Everything from audible books, to razors, to pre-packaged meals, has an “autopilot” option. Vendors want you to lock into something, so you don’t need to give it a second thought. It’s all taken care of. It’s very passive, and can be very dangerous in our spiritual life. If we are not alert to what we are passively saying yes to, then we become another floater on the lazy river. Being a follower of Christ, especially during this time in history, takes action on our part. If you are going to be a person who follows Jesus, you WILL look different from those around you. Even more difficult, if you are raising a family who follows Jesus, you will look different from those around you and that is rarely going to be easy. Jesus said in Matthew 7:13: “Enter the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few.” Distractions Lead To Destruction The enemy knows he cannot steal our salvation, but he can distract us. He can avert our eye from God and put it on the things of the world. Many times the things that distract us are not bad per se, the problem lies when those things get priority over God. The world makes it so easy to just enter the wide gate that leads to destruction. Heck, the world will even install a lazy river, so you can float right through the gate. I challenge you to hop off your raft! Climb out of the lazy river and make an active decision to participate in the life God wants you to have, not the busy life that the world says will bring you peace, satisfaction, and success. Say no to busy. Clear up your calendar. Dare to have enough time to be bored, rest, and listen to God’s still small voice. “Be still and know that I am God” Psalm 46:10
Grace, A Free Gift For You
Are you familiar with the word “Grace”? There are many meanings and definitions of the word, but only one has power. Dictionary.com says grace is: “The freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.” Freely given, you can’t pay for it or earn it. Unmerited, none of us deserve it. Grace is, by definition a free gift of favor and love from God for you. Doesn’t that sound amazing? Who doesn’t love a free gift? How many of you reading this have been around long enough to know that a “free gift” isn’t always all it’s cracked up to be? I really started to learn this lesson when I left home and went to college. The free t-shirt and a two-liter of Mountain Dew I got for signing up for a credit card came with some strings attached. As children, we excitedly accepted any free gift we were offered. My favorite free gift was a sucker when my mom took me to the bank. With age comes wisdom, experience, and skepticism. Maybe that is why we tend to struggle so much with the idea of grace. By the time we reach adulthood we are very aware that sin exists, both in the world and in us. If you are a parent, you have realized that sin is not something you need to teach a young child. They can figure out how to be naughty all on their own. We all seem to react to our sin differently. Some of us try to hide it, like Adam and Eve with their homemade fig leaf undies. We feel shame for the thing (sin) that separates us from God. Some of us shift the blame somewhere else; again, Adam and Eve. Adam said, “this woman you gave me caused me to sin.” Eve quickly came to her own defense and pointed out that the serpent deceived her, and it was not her fault either. Maybe you are not a blamer or a shamer; maybe you are a good deed doer. Have you ever felt bad for something you have done and tried to do something good, to in some way, cancel that debt? Let me be clear here that none of these things will work. You were created in the image of God. He is perfect and Holy and he cannot be in the presence of sin. It literally separates us from God. That’s why sin makes everyone feel so bad. We inherently know we have separated ourselves and we want it made right, but we go about it in the wrong way. We complicate things and try to hide it, blame it away, and fix it ourselves. God knows us because he created us. He knew our flesh would try to leave Him out of the equation and we would think we could save ourselves. He designed salvation in such a way that only Jesus could provide it. Ephesians 2:8 says: “It is by grace you have been saved, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God.” God loves us so much that He gave us His only son, to come into the world, and be the perfect sacrifice. He died so the brokenness that sin created between us and God could be restored. We are given eternal life instead of what we deserve which is eternal death and eternal separation from God. Why would He do that? Why would he withhold punishment and instead, give us a free gift? It doesn’t make sense. That’s what makes grace so amazing. I love the lyric from the song What a Beautiful Name, it says, “He didn’t want heaven without us, so Jesus you brought heaven down. My sin was great, your love was greater. What could separate us now?” This song so beautifully paints the picture of grace. He chose us, He loves us and He wants us, not because we are good, but because He is good. That’s grace!
What Is Epic Hope?
What does your soul long for? Do you even know how to put it into words? Epic Hope is a great depiction of what God can do in your life. Epic is described as something heroic or grand. Hope is the confident expectation of what God has promised. What Epic Hope Means For Us On some level, we realize we are broken. We are missing something important. Even when we are not sure what that “thing” is, we long to be whole, fulfilled, and complete. God knows us intimately because he created every detail of us. He knows what we need, even when we do not have the words to express it. God knew we needed something “epic”, something grand and heroic to fill the need we have inside our souls. We long for hope, we want what is good, for things to be better, to be just, peaceful and right. There is no way for us to attain this on our own. We try hard, but in and of our power we are left feeling exhausted, frustrated, empty, lonely, and maybe even shameful. God knew we needed Epic Hope, so He sent His son to bridge the gap that sin created between His perfectness and our brokenness. The idea of God’s power is an overwhelming thought. We cannot even come close to imagining all that He is capable of. His wisdom, sovereignty, and love for us are on a scale so large, that our humanity cannot even grasp its depth. If you have ever felt like you have seen even a portion of God’s power at work, you may be inclined to know that it can almost be frightening. In Exodus 33:20 while speaking to Moses, God said, “you cannot see my face, for no one may see me and live.” It’s hard to imagine that even being in the presence of God would be so powerful it would cause you to die. Plans For Hope And A Future I’ve struggled to see God’s bigger picture for me many times. Even when I can only see a small snap-shot of my current situation, I get wrapped up in what I think and how I feel, and I miss the heart of God. When I think of myself through the lens of being a parent, I can best understand God’s heart and plan for me. As a mom, I want what is best for my kids. I want them to be safe, happy, grateful, polite, kind, patient, the list goes on. I have big dreams and hopeful plans for their futures. God wants these things for us as well. I remember I took my kids camping a few summers ago. I planned a whole day for them. The plan was to have lunch and then go swimming at the beach. They were small and got easily excited and distracted. It would be a disaster to tell them the whole plan for the day when they woke up. They would be so excited about the fun parts that they wouldn’t be patient until it was time to go. It would be too hard for them to focus on the things I needed them to and our morning would be chaos. I knew they could not handle knowing all that was coming that day, so I withheld it until it was time. My kids assumed I was not going to do anything fun with them. As we ate our boring lunch, they began to protest and complain and started to get grumpy They even accused me of not caring about what they wanted. I said to them, “Would you guys just please trust me? I have a good plan for you today!” Oh my! As soon as the words left my mouth, I realized I had just spewed scripture at them. “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 Trusting God And Knowing Jesus I thought this must be exactly how God feels about me. He knows what I need and the whole situation and the timing in which it will happen. God has a good plan for me and He also knows that I am too small to understand all that He knows. In His loving-kindness as a loving Father, He chooses to protect me from the things I’m not ready to know, yet in my immaturity, I assume he is absent or unaware of my need. As our teaching pastors have shared with us during this series, we should not assume Jesus is distant, rather ask Him to help you and wait for his provision. Jesus knows you and wants you to know him. Ask him to reveal himself. God wants to bless you. He is capable of epic things as told in Mark 5. He can heal and raise the dead to life. What we may forget is that He cares about our day-to-day needs as well as the big issues we face. We experience Epic Hope when we go from knowing about Jesus to knowing Jesus.
Be Thankful In The Challenging Times
Do you ever wonder how to be thankful when you’re going through some challenges? These days of COVID-19 have made this year a big challenge. So many people are dealing with hard times and there is uncertainty on what this virus will do next. This blog will share ideas about being thankful. Count Your Blessings The picture was a drawing made by my son, but it has so much more significance than just colorful artwork done by a child. This particular Thanksgiving, my son Evan had been through 11 months of cancer treatment. After being home bound, he had just returned back to school and this was one of the first art projects he brought home. Now I remember that day, being so thankful for a child that was able to go to school. I was thankful that he finally had enough of an immune system to be around other kids. I was thankful that he was healthy enough to get through an entire day of school. In the previous year these were things I took for granted, and now I felt so thankful for them. As I look at this picture today I realize I could use a recalibration of my perspective on gratitude. Thanksgiving is a perfect day to hit the reset button! Choose Gratitude Over Complacency I think of the Israelites. Hungry in the desert. They had no idea what the future would hold but they were trusting God for provision. He sent down manna. Literal provision from the sky everyday. They lived with such awe and gratitude of such a simple thing provided by God. As the days piled up, they started to become complacent and even complained about the manna. The thing they were so thankful for had now become insignificant. They wanted more. They wanted meat. If you finish the story you see that God did eventually give them what they wanted, only to prove to them it would not make them happy, on the contrary, it caused misery. So I ask you, as I search my own heart today; where have you begun to take advantage of God’s blessings in your life? If we focus on “getting more” we will never feel fulfilled, but if we focus on God and thank Him for all He’s done, we will have indescribable joy. I can’t even explain it to you, but during Evan’s cancer treatment I experienced the most joy I’ve ever felt. Not because my circumstances were good. That’s for sure; but because I spent more time being aware of my need and dependency on God. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God.” – Philippians 4:6 Related Who Are You Thankful To?
Manual For Life, The Bible
The Myth I saw a quote that said “There is no manual for life. We all muddle on and hope for the best. So always follow your heart. It is your best guide.” I won’t cite the person who stated this, but when I read it I thought what terrible, untrue advice. However, I do feel like much of the world operates from a place of this belief. This disregard for God as the Creator and Ruler of all of creation is very evident in 2020. I want to start by debunking this idea and pointing out, there absolutely is a manual for life, the Bible. It is actual written words, inspired by God, to help guide us in every area of life. There is literally nothing He left out, parenting, marriage, sin, forgiveness, grace, sex, family, money, giving, humility, pride, self-control…..I could go on but if you haven’t already, you should read it for yourself. It is, by definition, literally, a manual for life. Now to address the second falsehood, “muddle through, hope for the best, and trust your heart because it is your best guide?” That is the opposite of what the Gospel stands for. Jesus died to give us forgiveness, hope, and eternal life. We don’t have to hope and guess. Our salvation is secure in Him. The Bible clearly states in Acts 1:5 and John 14:16 that Jesus died and left the Holy Spirit within us to lead, comfort and guide us. We don’t have to “muddle” through on our own and thank goodness we don’t have to rely on our weary heart to be our guide. The Challenge My husband and my best friend both set out to read the entire bible through in a year. I didn’t want to be left out, so I jumped on the bible reading bandwagon with them. In the past, I have attempted to read through the bible, starting in Genesis, several times and I always get stuck and fizzle out somewhere near Numbers or Deuteronomy. I have read most books of the bible at some point, just not in a succinct, chronological order. Now, I’m happy to say I am currently ⅓ of the way through the bible, and loving my time reading. The difference this time is I’m using a good reading plan called The Bible Recap. There’s also a podcast to go with the reading where the host explains what you read for the day. This has been extremely helpful because, we can all agree the old testament can be very confusing. What I like the most about this podcast host is, at the end of each podcast she says, “Where is your God shot today?” She is asking where do you see God’s character in this scripture? This has been monumental in growing my relationship with God. I’m not just reading the bible as a story, I’m reading as a way to spend time with God, to know who He is, and how He works. And I’m applying what I read as a manual for life. This type of connection has bent my heart in the best way possible. True Joy I find myself excited to wake up every morning to read and see what happens next and find out why God did what He did in the stories I have grown up hearing. When I first started, I really needed the host to point things out for me. I needed her to explain why God would or would not accept certain behaviors or attitudes. But now I’ve found myself seeing it for myself as I read. It made me so happy, true joy, the other day when I realized the reason I could understand this on my own was because my relationship with God was growing and getting stronger. I usually wake up early, before the kids, and sit quietly in my front room to read and pray. One morning as I was getting settled in with a hot cup of fresh coffee, I paused. I had a vision and I had this warmth, comfort, peace, and joy about me. I realized it came because I knew I was about to enter into a space with God. The Vision My vision was of me, in the ocean. I pictured my life in the past, and I was sitting in a small boat on the big beautiful ocean. The bible would represent the ocean. If I just sat quietly and watched and waited, I would see things in the water. Maybe a school of fish would swim by, a dolphin would jump, or maybe even the dorsal fin of a shark. What wonders lie beneath would catch my attention. I would then drop a fishing pole in the water and pull out an amazing looking fish. Maybe a bluefin tuna, or a marlin. It would remind me of the many times I would open my bible to a specific verse or story to study or find comfort, or direction. Now, as I sit in the stillness or the early morning, I know WHO God is not just what He has done. I feel that I am scuba diving now, under the water and I can see everything in its entirety. I see everything working and living together to create one big community, one big story and it makes me love God even more. He created me with intention and He wants to know me. I am moved by such a truth. My favorite part about this vision was that when I was below the water, looking at all of the beautiful things that were living below the surface, it was silent. When you are underwater or scuba diving you cannot hear the sounds above the surface. God Is In Control I don’t know about you but I am exhausted by the noise and opinions of everyone in 2020. You don’t have to go far to be inundated with information. Between social media, the news
Sabbath – Do We Need To Remember It?
The Commandment Do we still need to remember the Sabbath? The answer is yes! Honoring the Sabbath was a law given to the Israelites by God himself. The Bible tells us this, “remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them and rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.” Exodus 20:8-11 Even though this was declared as a commandment so many years ago, it is still vital to our physical and spiritual health today. Sabbath is not just the absence of labor, it is actively pursuing rest, restoration, and connection. Somehow, as a society, we have conditioned ourselves to believe that if we are not working hard, striving, obtaining, and achieving, then we are failing. We must read that verse in its entirety. It says for six days you will work, and on the seventh day you will rest. God recognizes that there is work to be done. There is value in an honest day’s work of providing for your family. He gives you six days to do it, however, you must then pause to rest and refuel. We would never expect a car to drive without gasoline, or a smartphone to operate with a dead battery. We will fill our tank and grab a charger. Yet, we somehow will not treat our own mind, body and soul as well as we treat a disposable electronic device. Restoration As we continue to work and live at breakneck speed, we have subconsciously recognized we are reaching burn out. Do we choose to rest at this point? No. We often choose to escape using caffeine, or nicotine, or alcohol. Or we mentally check out by scrolling, eating, or Netflix binging. We fool ourselves into thinking that it is resting and restoring, but the truth is, it is further depleting us. God knew what we needed from the beginning. He put this rhythm of renewal into place for our own good. He is the creator and author of our existence and He can be trusted to know what we need. I am reminded of a situation in my life where God used my circumstances to show me exactly what He wanted from me. In 2017 I had two major knee surgeries and was in a locked brace and had to use crutches for several months. For several weeks, I could not bear any weight on my right leg. I also could not drive or even carry a cup of coffee on my own. The timing of this was hard. It came after several years of hard things. Hard things in which I felt I had to carry the weight for myself and those around me. Funny that after a long season of being so “strong” in my own mind I would find myself being completely weak and helpless. I had to have friends and family drive me to physical therapy. My kids had to start riding the bus to school, and the hardest thing of all, I had to ask my husband for help with everything. Much to my surprise he was very willing, I had just never given him the space or opportunity to do so. Cry Out To Him One day in particular, I was feeling frustrated by my limitations. I’d even go as far to say I was depressed about the fact that I could no longer run. I’ve used running for many years as a way to deal with my stress and heavy emotions, convincing myself that this was a healthy coping mechanism. It beats grabbing a bottle of wine to deal with my stress, right? Wrong! It’s not good if you are constantly using it as a distraction from taking your need for a Savior to the only One who can help you. That day I cried out to God in anger over all of my loss. The loss of my career as I became a mom, the loss of my “healthy” child as he faced cancer, the loss of my brother in-law, and now the loss of my physical strength and ability??? It just wasn’t fair! I told God exactly that with loud words and big tears; and when I was done with my fit, he gently showed me this verse. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will cause you to rest.” Matthew 11:28 I’ve heard this verse many times before, but that particular day, this is what had changed. In the past I heard this verse to say “I will give you rest” but the version I read that day said “I will cause you to rest”. I froze! It occurred to me that I’d been striving and surviving for many years. I’ve always trusted God, and He carried me through all of it, however, I thought I still needed to do more. So I kept pushing, kept working, kept striving and avoided the rest I so desperately needed. True Sabbath I didn’t just need a nap or a vacation, but true Sabbath. I needed to rest in the arms of the Father who loved me. Restoration for my soul and connection with God, with myself and with my people. I did exactly that, and God had so much for me. It was three years full of blessings, and joy. There were still hard days, for sure, but God showed me who I was. He showed me who He was. He made my path straight and guided me toward my purpose. I had to stop and listen though. God will not speed along side of you and yell to you what you need to
FEAR – False Evidence Appearing Real
I was going through some of my old journals and found this acronym, FEAR, that I had gleaned from a bible study. It seems now is a great time to revisit this thought. I feel this accurately defines where much of our fear is coming from in a time such as this. Our society is entering new territory. Most of us have never lived through a pandemic of this magnitude. “Social Distancing” never existed until now. Schools, restaurants, sporting events and concerts are closed and canceled. Disney and Las Vegas are shut down for crying out loud. Paralyzed With Fear This is serious stuff, and it doesn’t just affect our country, this is a worldwide concern. So many uncertainties can paralyze us with fear. The main threat is our health and the health of those we love. Then, a concern that our healthcare system cannot handle the increased strain. And what about the health care providers that are on the front lines? They are courageously doing their jobs for the greater good, all while knowing their risk of exposure and illness is extremely high. The forced shut down across the globe is putting a major strain on the economy. Businesses are not operating. Therefore, they are not producing income to pay employees. Plus, there is a decrease in product manufacturing and distribution and many of these items are needed for survival; medications, food, water, and our beloved toilet paper. It doesn’t take much reflecting to get yourself and your neighbor into a full-blown panic. We are all aware that the media gobbles up opportunities like this, for reasons beyond me, to stir up fear and panic in people. I believe there is more “fake news” available at this very moment than real truth about COVID-19 and the effect it has and will continue to have on our world. Keep Calm So what do we do about it? Go to Facebook! There are enough news articles, funny memes, and ideas for decluttering your home to last you the rest of the year. Although I think this virus has provided some of the funniest memes known to man, however I don’t think this type of content is helping calm our anxious hearts! “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” -1 John 4:18 If you know Jesus, if you believe He paid a high price for your salvation, then you are made perfect in love. It’s really that simple. The word love gets overused in the English language and we forget the powerful impact it has. I mean, I “love” a hot cup of coffee and an early morning walk on a beach, but I don’t think that’s what we are talking about here. Actually, God is love, and Paul tells us exactly what that means in 1Corinthians 13:4-8: Love is patient and kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way for it is not self-seeking. Love is not touchy or resentful. It keeps no records of wrongs. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness but rejoices when truth prevails. Love assumes the best in people, love endures, love never fails. When I read this verse I’m both encouraged and convicted. Some of these things I’m doing well. I’m loving others well, just as Jesus has called me to. Yet, other areas need some serious work. Called To Love How about you? As we live in a day to day rhythm right now are you loving others well? Are you being kind? Are you being patient with strained and overworked grocery store employees? What about your energetic, newly homeschooled children? How about your husbands who are secretly fearful about how they will protect and provide for their families? Or your wife who now has a major increase in her workload. She’s feeding children more often on limited supplies, keeping people entertained and healthy, possibly trying to work from home, all while trying not to lose her mind. Are you being arrogant or rude? Do you say “this is not a big deal” because you are a healthy middle-aged person? Have you thought about the mother or child with cancer, the elderly man with COPD, or the teenage girl with cystic fibrosis? Your lack of concern could be life threatening for them. You see, love does not insist on its own way. It is not self-seeking. Let me be totally honest right now. This is no time to be self-seeking. We need to love one another and look out for one another. As followers of Jesus, we have been given an enormous platform and an opportunity to show the world Jesus through our words, attitudes, and actions. We can show the world who Jesus is through our love!
Action Required, Fuel Level Low
I posted a funny meme to my social media with the intent to tease my husband. It said something clever about “….my wife when I borrow her car and she knows it is out of fuel.” This is a recurring discussion at our house because I am notorious for having low fuel in my car. I play this mental game with myself because I know exactly how far I can go on the least amount of fuel. I knew the meme would make my husband laugh, but I did not expect the number of comments I would get on this silly post. The division was crystal clear. The majority of wives were with me and played this skillful game of “how far can I go after the low fuel light comes on”. The voice of husbands was much different as they agreed that this phenomenon was ridiculous. They banded together to have a loud voice of reason on this controversial topic. Some husbands threw out facts about the damage to our car engines from such neglect. The wives, however, were unaffected by this logic. They countered with reasons why stopping to fuel up was not conducive to the insane schedule of a mom. Others retaliated with brilliant comebacks like “fake news” and “still don’t care”. This thread carried on for days. I have never laughed so hard while connecting with my social media friends. The wives began to tag me in photos of their low fuel lights. I got funny messages about how their day was focused on getting errands done with the low fuel light on. This was definitely the comic relief we all needed during a busy week, in light of heavy world news, but to me, it became more than just a funny Facebook thread. Pushed Too Far On Low Fuel One morning I posted a picture of my low fuel light that said, “action required.” It was telling me I had pushed too far and needed to address the issue of an empty tank. I was humored by the next option it gave me, “dismiss.” It was warning me that I should take action, but ultimately I could ignore my need and keep pushing through. It became clear to me that this is how I often live my life, running on fumes. When the wives were asked “why” they do not just fill up their tanks, they immediately responded with a list of, in my opinion, solid reasons for avoiding the gas station. Many were moms and traveled with a carload of tired, hungry, crying, fighting kids. Most days, survival is at the top of our list, trumping other important things like fuel. Other women stated that they were usually running late and did not have time to stop or did not want to get out of the car. No Excuses As funny as this was when we were pleading our case to our husbands, I realized that we use these excuses in life when it comes to being spiritually full. We run from meeting to meeting, ball game to ball game, and we are running on empty. We are in survival mode; trying to get by and survive the day. We neglect the things that are so important to us like rest, fuel (good food), and time with Jesus. We put everyone else’s needs above our own until we are like a wrung-out rag. This definitely applies to the men too, so I don’t mean to be biased in focusing on women, however, I am one, so I have the most experience with it. Women, wives, mothers; we tend to find ourselves in different areas of life where we are serving others. It’s in our God-given nature, but we are not supernaturally refueled. Even though some of us may appear to be superheroes at times, we are not. We need to be fueled with rest, good food, relationships, and most importantly we need Jesus!! Every single day we need Jesus. Even if it is only a few minutes in the early morning before the herd is awake, or the couple of miles on your morning commute. Make time to refuel. Different Methods To Fuel Up I have found there are a million ways to do this. Depending on what my day is like, I use a different method. Some days I’m in my car blasting a worship song, and others I read God’s Word. If I need wisdom and content, I will listen to podcasts, or sermons on the radio if I’m in the car. Sometimes I just sit in a quiet room and pray. I need to isolate myself so that I can turn down the loud demands of the world around me and hear the still small voice of the Father who created me. If you have ever flown anywhere you know that at the beginning of the flight is the safety talk. In the case of emergency, the oxygen masks will come down. You are advised to put your mask on first before helping anyone, including your children. There is a good reason for this. If you are not oxygenated you will not be alive for long, and you won’t be any good to anyone. Let that sink in! So, as much as I hate to betray my loyal gang of gas station rebel wives, I have to admit, the husbands were right; just please don’t tell them I said that. Taking action and being well-fueled equips you for the unexpected things life throws your way. A Better Option Have you ever been stuck in an unexpected traffic jam on the highway with low fuel? It’s nerve-racking. You pray that you don’t run out of gas sitting on the interstate. A better option is to take action and fill up your tank so that you are safe and prepared for the unexpected. “I pray that God, the source of hope, will FILL you completely with joy and peace because you trust
Pray With Purpose
I don’t know about you, but when I pray, I pray with an expectation that something will happen. That can vary depending on the situation, but usually I’m hoping for something; an answer, wisdom, healing, opportunity, grace, mercy, favor, forgiveness……Lately, the thing I’m wanting most from prayer is the peace, love, and serenity that comes from simply being in the presence of God. If we pray with the expectation that God, will in some way, bless us; isn’t it fair to assume that we all desire to pray with purpose? Sometimes it can feel like we are doing it all wrong. Have you ever felt like your prayers were jumbled or confusing; or maybe you trail off and get distracted or sleepy when you are praying? If you have ever felt like your prayer life could be better, stick with me! I have a few things I’d like to share with you! Have you ever asked yourself, if God can and will do what He wants, why should I pray? The point of prayer is not to change God, it’s to change you. It’s about a relationship, and there is no shortcut for a relationship. It just takes time! God gave us free will, which means a relationship is up to us, and no one can do it for us. Prayer is not an activity, it’s a relationship! It is within our relationship with God that we will discover His will. When you are praying God’s will, that’s when you are really praying effective prayers. Do you ever feel like you are mumbling or are at a loss for words when you pray? There is no right or wrong way to pray, and even crying out the name “Jesus” is a prayer. Romans 8:26 says “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Holy Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” If God knows what you need before you ask, then why pray? Matthew 6:10 says “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” God already has a great plan for your future, as promised in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord, plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” There are blessings predestined for you in the realm of heaven. Jennifer Kennedy Dean worded it well, “The intent of prayer is to release the power of God to accomplish the purpose of God.” God’s desire is to release the best possible solution in every situation, but he requires your participation. He will let you miss it sometimes. God puts blessings in our path all day, like little wrapped presents, but if we do not open them, we do not get the joy of experiencing what is inside. Do you ever feel like you are begging God, or trying to change His mind? The secret to purposeful prayers is not how to change God, but how to be changed by Him. We can sometimes get caught up praying for a certain desired outcome that we have decided would be best. The huge problem with that is if we do not get that outcome, we believe the lie that God did not answer our prayer. A better way to pray is to work backward and ask yourself “What is the desire of my heart?” Does it align with the will of God and His promises? Then scripture shows us, He would love nothing better than to answer our prayer. Matthew 7:7 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened for you.” Psalm 37:4 “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Prayer has an instant impact on the spiritual realm of heaven no matter how ineloquent or unformed it may be. No need to worry or beg after you pray! Praying Perfectly As my final thought, I want to take a look at the one person who prayed perfectly, Jesus. Jesus would often sneak away to a quiet place and pray. He knew to turn down the noise of the world around him in order to hear the still small voice of his Father who loved him. Jesus was in the world and felt all of the feelings you and I feel today. He dealt with sadness, betrayal, and the pain of being misunderstood, just like we do. He did not always get the “answer” to prayer that he was hoping for. It says in Matthew 26:36 “My Father, if possible, let this cup pass over me, nevertheless, not as I will but as you will.” Jesus could see the cross coming and He did not want to suffer, but He wanted what God wanted more than what He wanted. That’s exactly what that prayer is saying. He’s being honest with God and telling him he does not want to suffer, but He wants God’s will to override His own. If he lived in 2019 he might say “Father download your will into my heart so that it overrides mine.” God is looking for an intercessor. Someone who, through prayer, is willing to stand in that gap between heaven and earth. A person willing to be a conduit through which the power of heaven can be brought to earth. Prayer is a process. God initiates it by His love for you. He will bring you into submission over the thing you want. You start by desiring something and end only desiring Him. That’s when you know your prayers are powerful. That’s when you are praying like Jesus! Solutions To Prayer Problems Read more about prayer…
Recovering Perfectionist Under Construction
Hi, I’m Erica, and I am a recovering perfectionist! Can you relate? Since my earliest memories, I have been drawn to perfection. As a kid, I despised the idea of a toy box! All of those random toys just tossed in one big box in such a haphazard way! What a terrible idea! When my oldest was a toddler I started a system with shoebox-sized totes for each of his toys. I labeled them with clip art of the toy it contained; legos, potato head, etc. I was the living example of a place for everything and everything in its place. A clean house, a clean refrigerator, and clean sheets make me happy. I love clean lines and hate clutter. I didn’t realize how rigid and structured my life was until I started having kids. Nothing throws “the plan” for your life into a fiery tailspin faster than those tiny, sticky, boogery, clumsy, inquisitive, adorable, little humans you created. Your standards must be lowered whether you want them to be or not. Your very sanity depends on it. Hitting A Low Being A Perfectionist I hit a low one morning when my twins were about a year old and my oldest was four. The kitchen floor was so sticky that I put slippers on so that I wouldn’t have to suffer through the sensation of the unidentifiable goo that was holding my barefoot to the floor! My one-year-old son was crawling around eating goldfish crackers off the dining room floor from the day before. My blood pressure went up and I wanted to scoop him up and start sweeping and mopping the floor, but I was tired, and I knew it would be hard work that would be undone in an instant when the next full bowl of cereal went crashing to the floor. Instead, I let him do it. Not my best moment; I’m not bragging here, but I had this thought, “It won’t kill him! He’s not crying, and he’s actually cleaning up the floor, and I drank my coffee.” That day was the beginning of a revelation for me that is still growing. My desire for everything to be balanced, efficient, clean, and perfect was an impossible and unrealistic goal. I could not ever achieve what my mind craved. It left me feeling defeated, frustrated and irritated. It constantly distracted me from the good things that were happening on the sticky floors of my home. Why Am I Like This? After my oldest child was diagnosed with cancer, this truth hit me even harder. The to-do list, the freshly mowed grass, the flowers actually getting watered after they were planted, the checkbook balanced to the penny and the meal plan actually being executed didn’t matter anymore. Being a perfectionist didn’t matter anymore. People and time were what mattered. However, I swung too far the other way. I got into an “all or nothing” mode of thinking. I knew that I could not perform tasks to the level that I wanted to, so I was paralyzed into not starting things at all. That was hard on my mind as well. I still had perfectionist thoughts and desires, but now I was feeling guilty for them. I started to dislike myself and be upset by my own personality. Self-critical, another trait I have since learned belongs to a true perfectionist. I would think “Why am I like this?!” He Is A Perfector Of Your Faith God gently showed me one day that loving things that are perfect is not a bad thing. He is perfect in all His ways. He designed me (and you) with purpose and intention. My grace is sufficient for you; for My strength and power are made PERFECT in your weakness. – 2 Corinthians 12:9 My love for perfection was placed in me by God so that I would be drawn to Him; not a spotless, Pinterest worthy kitchen. In the past I would seek fulfillment in things like a clean car, and then it would rain, or the kids would spill a drink and that achievement was gone. I was seeking contentment in things that wouldn’t last, and was always left feeling empty. When I discovered God was THE ONLY PERFECT THING in my life, and directed my desire and disappointment toward Him, everything changed. I found true contentment in all of the messy, imperfect things around me. I still struggle. I’m not claiming that all is easy. I just have balance now, and when I feel myself being pulled toward my old tendencies, I now know how to redirect those toward God. Honestly, it’s Him I’m actually craving! It’s the peace, that only He can provide, that passes all understanding. He is the Rock, His work is PERFECT, for all His ways are law and justice. – Deuteronomy 32:4 I’m not advising you to let your children eat off the floor, but I am advising you to put your desires on the only PERFECT one, God himself. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. – Romans 12:2
Trust Your Gut
I should have trusted my gut and went with it. It was Friday afternoon in late October. I was in the middle of a difficult recovery from my second knee surgery. I could not drive, so my father-in-law was my chauffeur. We just got home from a long day of physical therapy and doctors appointments in a town forty minutes away from home. My pain meds were wearing off and I was struggling to get up my front steps on crutches. My three kids and mother-in-law met me at the door. The kids were excited and full of the kind of energy that 3 pm on a Friday brings. They were telling me stories and firing questions at me faster than I could process. When You Have To Decide My phone kept dinging, so I checked it to see that my oldest son, a 6th grader at the time, was being invited to a drive-in movie with his friend. The friend’s mom was texting me to get permission to take him. However, the movie they were going to see was a scary movie, that we typically would not allow our son to watch. My husband was at a Cubs game and I could not reach him to get a second opinion on this decision. My gut said NO! Making matters even more intense, the other mom texted me again saying, “What did you decide? No pressure, but we are in your driveway.” No pressure huh? This made my decision even harder. I tend to be very strict with the rules in our house and had only seconds to go over the pros and cons. I felt like caving into the pressure of not wanting to always be the “fun killer” so I told my son yes and sent him out the door. The Consequences When he returned late that night, everything fell apart! He was terrified by the movie he saw and he vomited from binging on soda and junk food. He slept in my bed and neither of us rested that night. The nightmares continued for months and he was even afraid during the day. Not only did I feel terrible because he was struggling with fear, I felt awful because I knew what was best for him, but I compromised my rules due to the circumstances of the moment. As we worked through the consequences of this bad decision, I was reminded of how God cares for us. So many times we think we know what we want in the moment. We pray for things that seem like they will bring us joy, but we, like my child, don’t realize the consequences of the answer that we want. I knew this movie was scary and that my son was prone to be easily influenced by scary things. I knew he shouldn’t watch it, but I let him anyway. God Always Knows God always knows what is best for us. He knows the long term impact of things in our lives. When He says NO, we need to trust that He knows what He is doing because He loves us and protects us from things we are not even aware of. I use this example frequently now with my pre-teen son. He wants to do things, go places, watch certain things, and many times the answer is No. When he’s tempted to give me an attitude and accuse me of being put on earth to ruin his fun, I remind him to trust me. I’m protecting him from dangers that he is too small to understand. The same is true for our Father in Heaven. Are you getting a “NO” from God? Or a “not now” I challenge you to lean into that No. Trust that God has a good plan for you and He is protecting you in every situation. ‘For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you’ says the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future’. Jeremiah 29:11 Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6